The Art and Science of Being on Time

Image by le vent le cri

I've never been a person who was punctual--aside from being born on my due date. That's the last time in about thirty years that I arrived on time.

I believe it was my tenth birthday that my parents gave me "my very own alarm clock!" Like they were trying to make it all exciting about getting myself out of bed on time. This was no ordinary alarm clock. Oh, no. This alarm clock was special. Because in order to wake my ten year old self, you pretty much needed a fog horn. And that's what this alarm clock sounded like. A fog horn. And I still managed to sleep through it. (Much to my sisters' vexation.) I would have a dream that I was getting out of bed and turning it off. And then keep on sleeping. And then be late, again.

As I grew older, I was late for church. Babysitting appointments. Jobs. College classes. And so on.

Now, you add in the variables of a husband and small children and you've got a recipe that's bound to keep the tardiness going till the end of time.

Except. Except I learned that I didn't always have to be late. Apparently there isn't really a tardiness gene. I know. Can you believe it? I always though that, too. That I was just late, because that's the kind of person I am. Nope. Punctuality isn't a talent or a gene or a cute little skill to put on one's resume. It's simply a habit--a habit that anyone can develop.

Here's what I learned on my way to being punctual:

1. Stop stealing.
Most of us wouldn't go into the Walmart and put something into our purse without paying for it. *Gasp!* That's stealing! Well, when someone is waiting for you, and you show up late, you're stealing their time. Yup. And time is one thing a person can never, ever get back. So, it's disrespectful, rude and dishonoring to be late.

2. Learn time currency.
I'm convinced that those of us who are perpetually late lack a sense of time "intuition". For instance, I don't think we're really aware of time passing as much as those who might seem to be naturally punctual. I don't think we're aware of how much time it really takes to do something. We need to become time aware--or learn how to use time currency.

Get a stopwatch and start timing how long it really takes you to do certain things. How long does it really take you to get ready in the morning? To get your children dressed? To eat breakfast? You get the idea. Start wearing a watch. Try to look at it every once in a while so you know what time it is.

Don't play time "tricks". Someone in my house likes to play time tricks. The six foot tall dark haired man will remain nameless to protect his reputation. He sets his alarm clock fifteen minutes fast in an effort to help him be more timely. Whether or not that works for him is not the point. If you're like me and you lack a sense of time awareness, these "tricks" will probably backfire on you. You'll end up telling yourself, "Oh, I have fifteen more minutes, it's OK." And you'll still be late. I say set your watch to the correct time and learn to interact properly with real time.

3. Plan ahead.
This one should be a no-brainer. But I rarely, if ever, planned ahead. Now I know to look at my appointment book to see where I need to be on a certain day. I write down what I'll need to take, what time I need to be there, and what time I need to be in the car. That last factor was a key to helping me be on time. As a person unaware of time currency, somehow travel time was meaningless to me. Like somehow I'd magically be able to travel a twenty minute distance in five.

4. Build systems that work.
Systems are basically habits you build into your life to make things work more efficiently. As a naturally tardy person, getting to church on time--especially with little ones in tow--was the biggest challenge. So I developed a "get to church on time" system.

Every Saturday night, I gather everything that will need to go with us, and put it by the door--Bibles, diaper bags, purse, etc. I lay out clothes for me and for the boys. Sunday mornings I do things in a certain order and a certain way--every Sunday morning. Getting dressed, getting the boys dressed, taming their crazy hair, eating breakfast and so on. I've even managed to fit in fixing a travel mug of tea! Now that's something I never would have had time to do before!

5. Build in margin.
I take a two pronged approach here. First of all, I try to plan for the unexpected. With three small children, there's bound to be something unexpected, right? Someone who's got to go to the bathroom after you buckle them into their carseat. A two month old who wants to nurse again or spits up all over his clean clothes. Or a car that won't start because someone (the short, long haired woman will remain nameless to protect her reputation) left the reading light on in the car the night before. So, I plan for it. I don't know what it's going to be, but it's probably going to happen.

The second part of this is to avoid trying to fit in "one more thing" when I think I'm ahead of schedule. Let's face it--I'm still somewhat impaired when it comes to knowing time currency. Deciding to curl my hair (if I don't usually do this) at the last minute is a recipe for disaster. It will probably take longer than I expect, and I'll use up my margin that I needed for getting out the booster cables later.

6. Enjoy the peace.
I'm tellin' ya. There's just nothing like pulling out of the driveway with five minutes to spare, happy children, and parents who aren't agitated and irritable. Nothing like it. Being on time was such a novelty to me that it felt fun! Walking into a place five minutes early was exhilarating. But besides just being on time, the whole process of getting there was more peaceful. Kinder. Gentler. Sweeter.

Punctuality--you can do it!

Hearts Turned Towards Home: Joyce’s Story

The following is a guest post from Joyce at Joyfull Living and is the third installment of Hearts Turned Towards Home. If you are interested in sharing your story of how God turned your heart toward home, please click here.

What a blessing it is to share the journey of my heart being turned toward home. For me, it was a journey complete with second chances and the Lord doing a wonderful work my heart.

It was decided early in our marriage that when children came, I would be a stay at home mom. When our children were born, I quit my job to care for them. Although I was a stay at home mom technically, my heart was not home and I wasn't at home much either! The days were spent dragging my two young boys to my mothers house to watch soap operas, to town shopping or going out to lunch. We would hurry home when my husband got home to prepare dinner and do chores, but these were done with little effort or care. When the boys started school, I thought that I was not needed much at home and went to work full time.

Working Mom:

Supermom, I wasn't and that was learned quickly. Being gone all day then rushing home for homework, dinner, baths and bed put our family in a harried and disorganized state. I was unable to attend school functions, field trips or parties and when we tried to participate in sports, the routine became even more fierce and rushed. Many times dinner consisted of McDonald's eaten in the car.

Do You Have A Spiritual Vision?

That was the question the pastor on the radio asked one day on the way home from work. His question burned in my heart, “what am I looking for or striving with purpose to fulfill”? In all actuality, it was survival! My thoughts and plans reached no further than completing the day and moving into the next day! Realizing the importance of a goal or vision, something to be reaching toward, I asked the Lord what His vision was for my life.

God's Answer:

I often took a quick walk during break time at work. During the walk the Lord spoke into my heart clearly, “Your vision is your family, your family is your God given career and ministry.” It suddenly hit me that my family was divinely given to me and my home was my own sphere of appointed ministry. The Lord Himself, hand picked me for this task. Is there anything that deserves my time, effort or energy more than that high calling? NO! I realized that by being away from home so many hours and exerting my effort and energy at my job, my family was receiving the worst of my attention instead of my best, which was what they deserved. At work, I was pleasant, smiling and kind and at home I was rushed, grumpy and short on kindness and expressions of love.

Realization and Commitment:

I also realized how I had wasted those precious years when I was blessed to be at home. My days could have been spent building and cherishing my home instead of pursuing fun and pleasures. My heart yearned to go back home and make my home my career. My prayer included thanksgiving for God revealing to me my purpose and a surrender that if He would arrange the details, I would go back home with my heart intact.

His Way:

At this time our boys were ages 7 and 10. My husband and I did want more children, but had suffered three miscarriages in a row. Unable to face the heartbreak of losing any more, we decided that there would be no more children. We sold all of our baby equipment, clothes etc. We would not be needing these anymore. Can you guess what happened in our lives that completely surprised us? Yes, I was pregnant! Choosing to face this pregnancy with faith instead of fear, believing it was God's answer, we were blessed with a healthy baby boy and as we had agreed years ago, I came home.

She Buildeth Her Home:

In Proverbs 14:1, it tells that “a wise woman builds her home”. Building is a process and for me it continues to be a learning experience. For our home it meant me spending much of my time at home, meeting the needs of my family, seeking ways for the home to run more efficiently. It meant seeking God for the attitude of love, service and ministry to bless my home and family. It is a surrender of my desires at times in order to do what is best for others. It is also the highest blessing and sense of fulfillment to care for my family and mange my home.

Now that my youngest son is in school, I have returned to work part time. My job is flexible and the hours revolve around school hours and I am able to make those important school functions. My priorities are at home and family first. Balance is a key trait to hold it all together, but truly my heart has been turned toward home.

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:21

Joyce seeks to live out each day with the heart cry of “my soul shall be joyful in the Lord”. God has given abundant blessings with a wonderful husband of 20 years and three fantastic sons ranging from ages 18 to 8. You may visit Joyce’s blog – Joyfull Living at www.joybright.blogspot.com It is a place where she shares the details of an ordinary life filled with extraordinary joy!

Living Lovely

The following is a guest post by Heidi from Mt. Hope Chronicles.

Recently, after an emotionally rough few months this past year, I became inspired and empowered to change my outlook on life. It all began with this video by Amy Krouse Rosenthal: The Beckoning of Lovely. It spoke to me loud and clear.

Lovely became my theme word for the year, and doubtless it will stay with me, even when this year is long gone.

When I looked up the meaning of lovely in the dictionary, these two definitions jumped off the page:

2. delightful for beauty, harmony, or grace

4. eliciting love by moral or ideal worth

The first definition spoke to me in two ways:

1) I need to look around me and notice the beautiful things in my life. They are very rarely big things, such as a vacation to the Bahamas. But every day, all day long (even on the rough days) there are little beautiful things in my life, if I will only take the time to see and acknowledge them.

Sometimes lovely is so small, we have to stop what we are doing to notice it. Sometimes lovely is disguised in the quotidian, and we must step outside of our normal point of view to recognize it.

A sticky kiss from the 2 year old covered in maple syrup. A cherry tree, just beginning to bloom. A husband wrestling on the living room floor with his three sons. A phone call from a friend.

2) I can create lovely in my life. Amy’s list is a tremendous place to start.

Make a grand entrance. Make do with what you have. Make a splash! Make it up as you go. Make out. Make a friend. Kiss and make up. Make someone's day. Make something pretty. Make music. Make peace.

The second definition was an overwhelming reminder that God has created each and every person in this world with moral and ideal worth. Do I treat my children, my husband, the grocery clerk, or the person who cut me off in traffic as if they possessed moral or ideal worth? Do I make them feel lovely? How can I project God’s love and grace to those I come in contact with throughout my day, or even in my thoughts as I go through life?

Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." ~Matthew 22:37-40

With God’s help, we all have the power to live lovely in our own lives. It doesn't matter how old you are, your gender, your financial bracket, or your political party. You don't need to be artistic or have a green thumb. You don't need 10 extra hours in your day. It doesn't matter if you are a stay-at-home mom, have a thriving career, or feel down-and-out. It isn't about perfection. It doesn't matter if your home is 8,000 square feet or 800.

Every one of us can make something.

We can make the most of our time here.

I am beginning a new Living Lovely series at Mt. Hope Chronicles. Each week, I’ll create a new Living Lovely Challenge for all who are interested in participating. The following week, I’ll post a Mr. Linky so that we each can share how we’ve used that inspiration in our lives. Come join me in Living Lovely!

Finally, brothers, whatever is true,

whatever is noble, whatever is right,

whatever is pure, whatever is lovely,

whatever is admirable

—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—

think about such things.

~Philippians 4:8

Heidi documents Living Lovely at her blog, Mt. Hope Chronicles. There she celebrates (in words and images) her journey as wife, home schooling mother of three rambunctious boys (7, 5, and almost 3), photographer, book collector, and lover of the little things.

You’re Gonna Miss This

Image by D. Sharon Pruitt

The following is a guest post by Amanda from Mommy's Idea Book.

• Oh, I’ll be so glad when I don’t have to deal with bottles any more.
• I just wish he was potty-trained and out of these diapers, then I wouldn’t have to lug this diaper bag around any more.
• It’ll be nice to finally get a break once the kids get in school.
• Surely things will be easier once she gets older and can do some things for herself.

Do any of these lines sound familiar? Have you ever thought or said any of these things?

I’ll be the first to admit, I’ve thought or said all these things at one point or another.

After my son was born almost six years ago, I found myself constantly wishing he would grow out of one stage and into another, thinking things would be easier once he reached the next stage. I was a tired and sometimes frustrated new mom just trying to survive day to day with a new baby.

What I didn’t realize is I was inadvertently wishing our lives away by focusing on the irritating parts of each stage of his life rather than on the enjoyable and memorable parts of each stage.

Once I recognized how fast my little boy was actually growing up and just how short each segment of his life really is I felt guilty for wishing the time away. I knew it was imperative I put my mind on the positive aspects of his life, at every stage, rather than the negative ones.

So, that being said, how do we learn to focus on the positive instead of the negative?

1. Retrace our steps - Realizing our child will not stay young for very long is the first step to learning to live in the present and focus on the positives of each stage of their life. If we take a moment and look back to when our child was only a few months old, we will probably all remember thinking it took forever for him to stop waking up every two or three hours during the night. However, we can probably also look back and see how quickly the time actually flew by. By doing this, we can get an idea of just how short our time with our little ones really is.

1. Recognize our misconceptions - Sometimes, we parents fool ourselves into thinking if we can just get past this stage, everything will be peachy. Unfortunately, no matter the stage of our child’s life, there will always be less than pleasurable aspects. So by wishing one stage is over to get on to the next stage is really not accomplishing anything. In other words, each new stage will bring its own problems with it, so we might as well accept them and find happiness despite of them.

1. Rethink our priorities - It’s so easy to get caught up in having a spotless house or maintaining various commitments to the point we end up getting annoyed over the little things our children do or don’t do that are just part of being a kid. As a result, we try to “grow them up” too quickly, so they will fit into our pre-child lifestyle instead of reformatting our lifestyle to include our children. If unnecessary commitments and a squeaky clean house are constantly causing us to wish our kids were older so they could do more for themselves, it’s time to reassess our priorities. To put it plain, we’ll always have a house to clean and there will always be commitments to make, but our kids won’t always be kids.

As I began writing this article, I was reminded of a country music video my dad wanted me to watch a while back. Now, I don’t usually listen to country, but he said I really needed to see it. It was called “You’re Gonna Miss This” and sung by Trace Adkins.

I ended up crying through the whole video. The song talks about the stages of life we go through, from having young children to seeing them grow into adults and all the things we’ll miss about their childhood once they’re grown.

I’m glad I had the opportunity to watch this video while my kids are still really young because it changed my perspective on living each day to the fullest with them. I realized just how fleeting these times are in our lives.

Just ask an older mother or father and they’ll tell you time goes by in the blink of an eye. I want to cherish the good and the bad so I’ll be able to look back and know I didn’t wish away any of the time with my kids.

What about you? Are you wishing away precious time - days, weeks, months, or even years? Or are you living each day accepting and loving that precious time, good or not so good?

Amanda is a full-time mom to a five year old son and a two year old daughter, as well as a wife of almost 11 years. In addition, she blogs at Mommy’s Idea Book, a blog devoted to sharing information, tips and encouragement with other moms, wives and homemakers. She enjoys reading, cooking and spending time with her family.

Hearts Turned Towards Home: Jenn’s Story

The following is a guest post by Jenn from Beautiful Calling and is the second installment of Hearts Turned Towards Home. If you are interested in sharing your story of how God turned your heart toward home, please click here.

In 2005, I married a wonderful man and we moved into our new home. Scott had lived on his own for some time before we married and was quite competent in the running of a home. After we married, he still did all the cooking, his own ironing (and mine), we shared housework and I had no desire for that to change. We talked about having children in a year or so. Though Scott wanted me to stay at home when we had little ones, I wasn’t sure that was something I wanted to do. I wondered what I would do all day and how that could be fulfilling? (Yep, I was completely disillusioned!) I suppose I was sort of looking to be someone. It was all about me. I knew the Lord, but His plans and desires for me weren’t a top priority to me at the time.

I started off as a Quality Assurance Co-coordinator within a great company. They were paying for me to take accounting courses at a local college. I had my own agenda and planned to complete additional (paid) schooling and move into the accounting department within the company. I thought that my worth was tied to my work; graduating from college and having a great well-paying career with all the benefits.

I completed a couple courses, receiving high marks then I found out I was pregnant. We were excited and told virtually everyone. And then we lost the baby. (You can read more about that on my blog during June/July). God used this tragedy to turn my heart back towards Him. As I began to focus on Him and learn more about His designs, my heart slowly turned towards home.

It was about that time that I stumbled upon Crystal's blog: Biblical Womanhood. [Note from Brianna: Biblical Womanhood is no longer an active blog.] When I first began to read some of her writings, I thought “Are you crazy?” The idea of serving my husband constantly really rubbed me the wrong way. But the more time I spent reading my bible, looking to biblical examples, following her blog and reading other edifying books, the more I realized how wrong my attitudes were. I began to understand (and embrace!) the role that God has given me; to be a helper to my husband and a keeper of my home.

God has since then blessed us with two little ones. My dreams of college courses and accounting positions pale in comparison to the dream that I am living now. Some days are rough and other days are bliss but most are a combination of the two. I cook much better, I love to bake, our house is in pretty good shape most days and Scott hasn’t had to iron anything himself this year.

I’m still such a work in progress but praise the Lord for the victories that I am seeing as I continue to try and live out biblical womanhood!

Some thoughts from my journey so far:

Heart Toward God: Have you heard the phrase “You will only be as good a mother as you are a Christian”? I think it is true. He must come first. It is He that enables you to be the sacrificing servant that you need to be in order for your heart to really be focused on your family and your home.

Aptitude is Optional but Attitude is Essential: I didn’t enter my marriage with a lot of aptitude. In fact, I really was domestically challenged! Four years in and I still have so much to learn and such a long way to go. I fail miserably in many areas on a weekly (or daily!) basis but I have a willing attitude. I want to learn, to grow, to be the woman, wife and mother that He wants me to be. He'll provide the ability as we look to Him.

Read His Word: Some may claim that the bible is old fashioned, but it is timeless and His truths endure to all generations (Psalm 100:5). In following His blueprints for biblical womanhood, marriage and childrearing, our lives will glorify Him and we will reap benefits. The bible is full of godly and ungodly women that we can learn from with practical how-to’s and the how-not-to’s.

Titus 2 Women: We can all be teachers and students if we are willing. Find yourself a godly ‘older’ (Titus 2) woman whom you can learn from in spiritual things as well as domestic practical matters. Maybe she’s your neighbor, or she attends your church or maybe she is an online friend. If you can’t find one, pray for one.

Like-Minded Friends: Hearts toward home in today’s society is not a popular notion. Even in Christian circles, the value placed on mothers and homes in general isn’t what it should be. Iron sharpeneth iron. Having friends within the church, your social group or online, that share the same values are vital. Sharing lessons learned and being able to rejoice together in victories and good days are also so important on this journey. It is also essential to have someone there to encourage you on those not so stellar days.

Good Blogs: They can be edifying, uplifting, encouraging and, at times, gently convicting. The Lord used Biblical Womanhood in a great way to change the direction of my life. If used wisely, we can learn much from good blogs through real life lessons shared on them.

Good Books: Someone somewhere said that if you only have time to read one book, make it the bible! I agree. But I think that there is also a wealth of knowledge and benefit to be gained in reading good bible-based books on womanhood, marriage and the family. If they are based on scriptural truths and examples then they will not necessarily be new ideas to you, however they may have some practical applications that you might not have thought of before.

Some Favorite Resources

Titus 2 Women 3 Book Series: Secrets of a Happy Heart, Happily Married and Parenting with Wisdom by Debi Pryde This series is so awesome! It deals with you and your relationship with the Lord, then your spouse and then your children.

Loving God with All Your Mind by Elizabeth George

Passionate Housewives Desperate for God by Jenny Chancy and Stacy McDonald

A Wife After God’s Own Heart by Elizabeth George

Striving to be the woman, wife and mother that God is calling her to be, Jenn embraces her beautiful calling fully. No longer quite so domestically challenged, she’s still a work-in-progress and writes about it all at Beautiful Calling.

Alec Josiah: A Birth Story

In the spirit of my friend Judy Kay, I'll start this post by saying this:

For any guy readers out there, here's the boy version--I had a baby. He was born on Saturday, July 11th at 1:23 pm. He was completely healthy and totally adorable. He weighed 8 lbs, 9 oz, was 20 1/4 inches long and we named him Alec Josiah. The End.

Now for all my girl readers...who (as Tara said) want all the "gory details"...

Ahem. Let's begin, shall we?

The last time I had a baby, I experienced prodromal labor for nearly a full month. I started having contractions that kept me up at night when I was only 38 weeks. This continued until Levi was finally born at almost 42 weeks. Sigh. Are you tired yet? I was trying to mentally prepare myself for this same possibility this time around. I'd had contractions for a few days--contractions that, once again, were enough to wake me and make me think about timing them.

But they didn't really go anywhere. I'd eat a bowl of Cheerios, post something silly on Facebook, and head back to bed to try to get some more sleep.

Last Friday (the 10th), things felt a little more intense. I'd felt the urge to put things in the house in order and decided I should probably head to the grocery store to stock up for the coming week. Baby was quite low and contractions were coming, however sporadically. It took me forever in the grocery store--and I'm pretty sure I was walking like an old woman.

That night was Cow Appreciation Day at Chick-fil-A. Dress like a cow, get free chicken. Yes, yes indeed, me and my big pregnant self dressed like a cow along with the other bovines in my family, and headed over to Chick-fil-A to make some memories and eat free chicken. The call of free chicken is a strong one.

Sitting there with Keith while the boys played, the contractions continued--seeming to come more regularly. "I think this might be the real deal," I remember saying to Keith. But I was still feeling somewhat hesitant remembering last time around when Levi had tricked me over and over.

We headed home, put the boys to bed and got into bed ourselves. That night about 12:30, I woke up and asked Keith to time my contractions. Much to my dismay, they still weren't regular at all--coming between 5 and 12 minutes apart. Finally, they seemed to settle all together and I fell asleep again.

The next morning, Keith was supposed to head to work to complete a Saturday job--a rare happening. My contractions were still not at all regular, though still coming, but I felt completely desperate at the thought of Keith leaving me. I knew I couldn't handle the two boys by myself, but more than that I just couldn't bear the thought of being alone.

Keith finally called into work and said that he felt he should probably stay with me--at least until his mom could come over and be with me while he went in to work.

I got out of bed shortly after and started walking around. I didn't feel at all hungry and hadn't eaten since very early that morning (about 4). I was still feeling so hesitant and full of self-doubt. Was this going to be the real thing or not? Did I even know?

I decided to call a friend who is a midwife and speak with her a bit about prodromal labor. She was very encouraging, gave me a few tips about resting and getting contractions to stop and also a few tips on how to get things moving along if this was the real thing. While I was talking to her, I had to breathe through several contractions.

Shortly after getting off the phone with my friend, I found myself walking constantly through the house. Just walking in circles. Then grabbing my birth ball. Then begging the children to "please, don't touch me!" Then calling my mother and starting to cry and saying I really couldn't do this.

Hello. Signs of transition, anyone?

It finally clicked into my brain. My contractions were so intense that I couldn't talk through them and I had to focus fully on my breathing. They were coming every three minutes. I was a full hour away from the hospital.

Panic set in.

I was never going to make it to the hospital.

Keith, seeing the swift change in circumstances, called his mom and asked her to come, now. He started throwing our stuff in the car. I could tell he was a bit panicked because he was getting frustrated over the littlest things. Things like not being able to find the only set of keys for our car.

Keith's mom finally arrived. I say finally, and it probably wasn't that long, but every minute was feeling like an eternity to me at this point. She was very concerned when she saw me and asked if I was going to make it. I'm sure she was even more concerned when I responded with a grimace. Which meant...I'm really not sure...

The last thing I wanted to do was climb into the seat of that car. To get into a seated position and be held captive inside an automobile for an hour was not my idea of a good time at this point. The thought of it made me crazy, in fact. But Keith got me inside and off we started.

We had only driven for a few minutes when I looked over at Keith.

"Keith. I am not going to make it."

Now, there is indeed a hospital closer than an hour away. In fact, there is a hospital about seven minutes from our house. But. (And please don't be offended if you've delivered there and you love the hospital, the doctors, and the nurses...) But I really didn't want to give birth there. After having the experience of natural birth at a birth center and then at home, there was no way I wanted to set foot in that hospital. The hospital in Warner Robins was waiting for me with a caring midwife who understood my desires for childbirth and was on my team.

I still didn't think I was going to make it.

I called my midwife, Carlene, to tell her so. She reassured me that I could probably make it, but that it was a decision I'd have to make myself.

We decided to go for it.

Later Keith told me that the fastest he drove was 105. Miles. An. Hour.

I'm so glad I didn't know that at the time.

I don't think I've ever prayed so hard or recited so many Scripture verses. My prayers sounded mostly like this, "Oh, Jesus. Sweet Jesus. Help me." And, "Please don't let this baby be born on the side of the road."

A drive that normally takes at least 60 minutes took less than 45. Carlene met us on the way, and we drove in a crazy caravan with lights flashing.

As we pulled into the hospital, I don't think I've ever been so relieved in my livelong life.

We were met at the door by Carlene and a nurse with a wheelchair. They wheeled me upstairs and into a birthing room. Carlene checked me. I was nine centimeters dilated.

Continuing to breath through contractions (I think I was the calmest with this birth at this point), I climbed into the tub to let the warm water spray on my back. Heaven. The lab tech came to draw my blood. I'm sure I gave the most evil eyed look ever and refused. Were they freaking kidding me?

Carlene, seeing that I was probably about to deliver, asked me to get out of the tub so she could check me again. She noted that baby's heartones were dropping quite a bit with contractions and began to move swiftly. She looked me in the eye and said, "This baby needs to come out now. You need to push him out now. Do you understand me, Brianna? When I tell you to push, you need to push, OK?"

With Keith on one side and a nurse on the other, I started pushing. Up till now, I'd been almost completely silent. No more. Maybe someday I'll get through the pushing without yelling my head off, but today was not the day. In less than ten minutes, Alec had been born. Face up. Every time I think about that, I feel like giving myself a good old "HooRAH!" and patting myself on the back.

There is absolutely no joy, relief, ecstasy like having my baby put into my arms. (And perhaps the added benefit of being amazed to have lived through the pushing...)

He was perfect. So beautiful. So very beautiful. And he looked just like his brothers. With one notable exception. He had perfect straight feet. So tiny, narrow and straight. Amazing.

The emotions swelled over and the tears and sobs of happiness and relief came pouring out.

Alec Josiah. A blessing from the hand of my Heavenly Father.

Lord, make us parents after your own heart. May we remember that our boys are only given in trust to us. May we shape their hearts for eternity and direct their eyes toward your character and love. May they know you as their Lord and Savior early in their lives and grow to be men of godliness and integrity.

Love Is Spelled R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Image by Coolm36

The following is a guest post from Christin at Journey to a Gracious Woman.

It is no secret that men and women are different (or is it?!). God created us, men and women, with diverse roles in His creation. He chose our place because we are in no position to tell God otherwise. I find it incredibly designed that God made wives to respect their husbands and made husbands to love their wives (Ephesians 5:33), because those are the elements we each need to thrive. He knows this! Husbands need respect from their wives as greatly as wives need love from their husbands. For husbands, respect is love and love is respect.

A number of translations use the word respect in place of reverence. I think these two words are quite different from each other, one being at a much deeper level then the other. However, I also believe that if we cannot respect our husbands we will certainly not reverence them.

Ephesians 5:33 (KJV)
... and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

I believe one of the most common reasons it is difficult for wives to respect their husbands is because they don't understand his deep need for it. The second most common justification, that I have witnessed, is that wives wait until their husbands deserve respect before they give it.

Until I understood my husbands deep need for respect and why he thrived on it, I didn't put forth much effort to respect him. Sometimes respect can come automatically, but the majority of the time, showing respect is very intentional. It is something that often must be thought out before being carried out.

I want to take a look at 3 aspects of respecting our husbands. The first one being the impact our respect will have on our husbands, the second being the consequences of not giving respect, and finally what intentional respect looks like in action.

The Impact of Your Respect

Earlier I said I believed much of the reason why wives don't respect their husbands is because they are unaware of how it impacts them. They are unaware of their real need for it. Today, you will be without excuse ;). Now, stay with me because this is important, and in fact very encouraging. Respecting your husband shows/tells your husband:

• where he ranks in your life
• you believe in him
• you trust him
• you are proud of him
• you love him
• you're his biggest fan
• you accept him [how he is]
  

Imagine how secure our husbands would be if we respected him in word, tone, action, and in public. We wives are a safe-haven for our husbands. They should be the most comfortable around the women they love, thus letting their guard down. We have a great responsibility, ladies.

If a man's wife believes in him, he can conquer the world--or at least his little corner of it.
For Women Only, by Shaunti Feldhan

Consequences of No Respect

Picture this scenario: a husband and his wife are chit chatting after church service with some friends. Though the wife respects her husband [in her own mind], she proceeds to tell her friends how her husband tried to fix the lawn mower but somehow only made it worse and that what he should've done was just taken it in and paid the money to have it fixed. She believes to be having a lighthearted conversation about just everyday life happenings, but he has just felt cut down and made to feel inadequate simply because he wanted to try to see if he could fix the mower himself.

Not only has this woman embarrassed him [most likely unknowingly] in front of their friends, she has indirectly called him inept, suggesting he was incapable of being handy, before he even tried. She should be his biggest cheerleader and encouragement. Instead, she made it very clear to her husband and their friends that she doesn't respect his abilities.

I don't think many women realize what they do to their husbands when they show disrespect in public. This strips a man of his dignity right out there in the open. If a man cannot even be respected by his own wife, the people surrounding him will not respect him, even if it's in secret.

We have the potential to make our husbands:

• feel inadequate (or have justification for those already lurking feelings)
• be disrespected by others
• feel unloved
• just give up trying
  

Intentional Respect in Action

So how do we show intentional as opposed to "going through the motions" respect towards our husbands? Well, there really are an endless amount of ways. Just like there are many ways for our husbands to intentionally show us love. But let me highlight a few that will make your man feel on top of the world!

1. Express to him you support [and respect] his decision making (even if it's not what you would do)
   
2. Brag about him to your friends---and his
3. Be mindful of your tone and wording - even if you don't intend to belittle your husband, we frequently do without even knowing it. An example of this would be constantly reminding (or nagging) them to do something (anything). We often make the mistake of believing they need to be reminded, and the more we nag, the less they want to carry out whatever it is they are "supposed" to be doing.
4. Do not question his knowledge or judgment
   
5. Encourage his abilities
   

In order to respect our husbands openly, we must respect them privately, in our own hearts. If you need help with this, pray. God can help! Often, when we outwardly respect them, they will respond in one way or another and our hearts will often change.

Christin is the wife to Jonathan and mother of 4 children. She is committed to living a life of service to God, journey's to becoming a help meet to her husband, and a devoted mother to her children. She enjoys homeschooling, reading, blogging, and doing what she can to help others. You can find her blogging transparently at Journey to a Gracious Woman.